Revenue Journal®

The phone rings. I answer it, the way I always answer it: "This is Kristin Zhivago. Can I help you?"

There is a bit of silence, then suddenly the line is alive with the sounds of a busy telemarketing boiler room. Many voices can be heard in the background, pleading, sympathizing, pushing, lying. I know exactly what is going to happen next, but because I am a professional revenue coach, dedicated to improving how people sell their products and services, I stay on the line. The person on the other end has a very thick Indian accent. So we know who is calling and where they're calling from.

"Hello, I'd like to speak to...um...Mrs. Cheerago."

Sigh. "This is Kristin Zhivago," I say agai

I'm in the midst of rewriting about 50 "sales plays" for a client. These are intranet-based instructions for salespeople making outgoing calls to potential clients. Each "sales play" describes the product or product combination being sold (the "offering"), the target audience for that offering, what's included in the offering, why the client should be interested, and suggested voicemail, phone call, and email copy that the salesperson can use when pitching the offering to a client.

Rewriting these sales plays is reminding me how impossible it is to be a salesperson who is depending on copy written by copywriters who have never had to make a cold call. The plays I'm changing, although each one is written about a different product, all use the same language. They all talk about the customer's need and the product's benefits.

Kimberley Deane makes beautiful, reasonably priced jewelry. Her photography skills are top-notch. Her website and printed materials are stunning.

The only problem is, Kimberley hates to sell. She'd rather spend most of her day creating her wares, not "selling." Most artisan entrepreneurs, especially those who open up one-person shops in order to sell what they love to create, hate to sell. Selling is a distasteful, intrusive activity. It grosses them out and causes them to break out in a cold sweat.

Kimberley wants to increase her sales, but she didn't want to have to sell in order to do it. Once I understood her problem, I was able to tell her that she doesn't need to "sell" in order to increase her sales. She just has to make it easy for people to buy from her. That was a comforting thought for Kimberley. Then we started working on exactly how she would do this.

Got a phone call today from a telemarketer for the "National Directory." Lots of voices in the background, obviously a boiler room. OK, no problem with that. But the guy calling me is talking too fast. Red Flag #1. Fast-talking callers make buyers uncomfortable.

He's talking so fast, I can barely understand which business he represents, and thus am not sure what this call is for, or where it's headed. Red Flag #2. He says something about this being the directory used by AOL's Yellow Pages.

He wants to confirm my contact information. OK, I can do that, I get these calls all the time. But I'm still suspicious. This "just confirming" shtick is usually the preamble to a sales pitch. Red Flag #3.

He confirms my contact information, then says, "Thank you. Now, you will be listed in the National Directory, free for 15 days." Red Flag #4. Big One.

"What happens after the 15 days?" I ask him.

"It's free for 15 days," he says, avoiding my question.

"That's not what I asked. What I asked was, 'What happens after the 15 days?'"

"Well, Ma'am, if you approve your listing, you'll pay $39 a month."