Lying doesn't work anymore

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I'm beginning to wonder what all the professional liars are going to do for a living.

I'm starting to see things go really badly for a whole group of people, people who were too lazy to learn something complicated, but who were smart enough to talk their way into and out of just about anything. These people are dead weight now.

As CEOs realize that the "traditional" lying and arguing methods of selling aren't working anymore - now that it's so easy for customers to walk away, go back to Google, and find other options - these professional liars are getting laid off. They're also having a lot of trouble finding another job. These folks are going to start filling up the unemployment rolls. As usual, the "mainstream" press won't be aware of this reality, because they are not part of the day-to-day business world.

The liar layoff trend is a perfect example of a river of revenue drying up, leaving a group of people staring at drying mud, and wondering how they are going to pay their mortgages. Given that liars are usually over-extended in addition to being under-skilled, and because ALL industries are affected by this trend, these folks are in for a rough ride.

As a buyer, you can see this trend at work in your own buying behavior. I recently had to buy a satellite phone. I called one vendor, and ended up with a salesman who was so argumentative and abusive that I actually got angry.

I'm usually a very patient person. But this man was determined to convince me that I was an idiot and he was an expert - by telling me that I was wrong about something that was absolutely, positively true. He told me this so he could then tell me a lie, in favor of his own product. Here I was, standing at the door with money in my hand, and he was beating me up. That was it. "Look, I've been teaching people how to sell for 40 years," I told him. "If you want to sell me something today, you will stop lying and arguing with me. I will ask questions, and you will answer them, honestly. You got that?"

The liar gritted his teeth, but forced himself to back off and start talking in his faux courteous voice. "Oh, of course, absolutely," he said. "I agree." We all know that's not what he was thinking. He started being "really nice" to me, in a cloying, insulting kind of way. I gave up. There was no way I was going to get the truth from this guy, or give this guy an order.

I ended up buying from Barry at All Road Communications. Barry is at the other end of the spectrum, so to speak. He immediately understood that I had technical knowledge. He didn't waste my time telling me things I already knew. He understood exactly what I needed, asked all the right questions, and answered my questions honestly and efficiently. He also told me that once I bought the phone, someone would be available to help, 24/7, if anything went wrong, answering the most pressing question of all ("What's going to happen to me after I buy?"). He even had a pleasant sense of humor. "You might get someone slightly groggy on the other end of the line, depending on when you call," he said, "But a human being will answer."

Barry got the order. And, even though I contacted him on Friday afternoon his time, the sat phone arrived on Monday, bright and early.

In today's economy, driven by "Google-enclued" buyers, Barry is a keeper. Barry is not going to end up in the unemployment line, or interviewing for jobs at dying sleaze dog companies for half the base he used to make. Barry is exactly what CEOs are looking for now, and hiring. I've helped two different CEOs find a "Barry" in the last couple of weeks. The scores of professional liars who tried desperately to get through my screening process didn't make the cut. They stick out like a sore thumb, no matter how slick they are.

They are shallow, for starters. When I conduct interviews, one part of my brain is watching my own interest in the call. If the candidate has some depth of character, the call is energizing and interesting. If the candidate is shallow and manipulative, I get bored in the first few minutes. Yes, I continue with the interview, because it's the professional thing to do, and I always give everyone a fair chance. But I know if a salesperson is boring me, that he will bore the customers, too. At the very least, a good salesperson brings positive, attentive, and caring energy to every call. If that element isn't there, that person will not make his numbers.

Here are the other characteristics of professional liars:

• They are argumentative.

   

   

• They listen, but only half-heartedly, just enough to prepare their own response.

   

   

• Their heads are filled with their own self-importance.

   

   

• They tend to interrupt.

   

   

• Their conversation is filled with cliches, things they heard along the way, that they now repeat as if they thought of it.

   

   

• They are competitive - in a desperate kind of way.

   

   

• They pretend to like you, even as they are thinking the most terrible things about you.

I honestly don't know what these liars are going to do with the rest of their careers. They don't apply themselves enough to learn a new, complex skill - so technical and finance careers are out of the question. Plus, you don't want liars in finance, or in product development, for that matter. Manufacturing is too "dirty" for their manicured hands, and they don't have the patience for marketing - nor do they have the desire to acquire the technical knowledge now required of all marketing professionals. I'm sure some of you are thinking, "What about the legal department?" Well, good question. But the people who go into law have to do a lot of studying. Most salespeople went into sales to avoid having to study anything.

Can they stop lying? Can they turn into helpful, thorough, courteous people? Maybe - after they have been out of work so long they are sufficiently shocked - and humbled. Only if they make a personal, life-altering decision to change their ways. Think religious conversion. But first they have to realize that they are the problem. Lying and victimhood go together, so the resistance-to-change factor is high.

CEOs used to put up with these jerks in their businesses, back when customers didn't have many choices or access to good competitive information. Back when lying worked (enough to make quota, anyway). Now there's no need for these folks, and they're being let go in large numbers.

I'm hoping they see the light sooner rather than later, to minimize the suffering that they - and their families - are about to go through.