Revenue Journal®

Here's the first sentence of a website selling an email security solution:

"In today's business world, email has become critical to daily commerce. But, it also contains serious threats, threats which have increased dramatically over the last few years. You can't afford to ignore those threats."

Whoever wrote these words has obviously never spoken to a real IT person, who has been fighting an endless battle against spam for years. Actually, even a technophobic grandmother who does nothing but email on her computer knows that email contains "serious threats" which have "increased dramatically."

This copy tells the prospect nothing useful, insults his intelligence, and is a barrier to the sale. The copy went on like this for several more paragraphs, then finally spent a few paragraphs describing the product being sold and touching lightly on the product's specifications. That was unfortunately the only useful copy on the web page. The copy then shifted into benefit mode, which is also useless.

In all high-tech pieces and pages, the benefits section is where you will normally find some or all of the following phrases:

Increase productivity
Spend more time focusing on business
Accomplish more with fewer IT staff
Increase efficiency
Run your business efficiently
Increase utilization
Optimize your environment
Smaller footprint
More performance
Real cost savings
Highly integrated
Lower costs
Enhance security
Improve reliability and performance
Take better care of your customers
Stay more connected
Look and interact more professionally
Manage your customer relationships more effectively
Easy to configure, deploy and administer
Easy to use

And, of course, there are all the "-able" words:
Manageable
Scalable
Flexible
Capable
Expandable
Affordable
Reliable

There are two problems with this typical approach. First, only a couple of paragraphs were devoted to anything even close to useful copy. Second, since everyone writes the same copy, using the same old tired words and phrases, customers have learned to ignore it. Instead, they skim quickly, trying to find out what the product can do to help them and how it works.

How can you make sure your copy is useful?

Here's how to avoid useless copy and start cranking out useful copy:

1. List the facts. Don't even start writing until you have a bullet list of everything that someone would want to know about the product or service, in the order of importance. Be very specific. Do not say, "Large capacity." Say, "4 gigabytes of RAM."

2. List the things that make this product or service different from similar products or services. It's OK to include things that your company does better, too, but again, be very specific. Don't say, "Excellent customer service." Say, "Customer service reps are available via chat, email, fax, and phone, 24/7."

3. Describe exactly what will happen to the customer after he buys. Don't say, "Easy to install." Say, "Installs in 30 seconds with three clicks."

4. Avoid the "enable" words. Don't say, "This software will enable you to [whatever]." Say, "Create web pages from Excel spreadsheets with four clicks."

5. Start your bullets with a verb. This is a very effective way to discipline yourself (or your copywriter) to write something the reader would want to read. Make the verbs as active and action-oriented as possible, Say, "Filter and organize your email into your own categories."

6. Make a list of the words you should avoid - and avoid them. The lists above are a good place to start. Anything generic is merely background noise. Avoid words like "easy," "convenient," "affordable," and so on. These are words that anyone can apply to anything - and everyone does. If you want to break out of the pack, you have to stop doing what the pack does.

7. Skip the history lesson. So many marketers have been rigorously taught to describe the customer's situation in the beginning of the copy. It's big mistake. As I've said many times, the drowning man knows - better than you - that he's about to die. What he wants is to be rescued. If you write your copy right, he will know immediately that he's going to be OK.
   

Retire those old useless phrases. No one's reading them. They are a complete waste of your writing time and their reading/buying time.

Replace those vague, useless phrases with crisp, action-oriented copy that answers every single question, and your copy will sell more for you.