Revenue Journal®

A typical business person begins the day…

Booting up computer…OK, 200 emails that I am expected to respond to…18 phone calls I must make today…7 hour-long meetings…this email says that we can't use the approach we all finally agreed upon…sigh…phone rings…boss…wants me to call into a meeting he's holding now…there goes my "quiet" time…calling in…hmmmm boring…why did he think I needed to hear this?…May as well do something productive while I'm listening…briefcase handle broke yesterday, need a new one…let's see…Google…typing…

briefcase leather black computer pocket Briggs & Riley

Hmmm…MSN Shopping shows a bunch of them, looks like…clicking…ah, good…wait, boss is asking me a question…yes…yes…yes, we've got that under control, I'm sending you the project plan…email to boss…OK, back to briefcases. Man, they're expensive. Better sort by price…OK…I'll look at this and this and this…

We all know that this is the reality of a busy person's day, and the reality of a busy person's buying process. Yet we write as if they are sitting around with their feet up, luxuriating over every precious word of our promotional copy, like a recreational shopper with too much money and all day to spend it.

Time to snap out of it. No one wants to slowly wend their way through long-winded selling prose. They just want to get the right information at the right time. They want to scan the facts, fast. They don't want to waste a second getting bogged down in superfluous copy. They want copy that works, hard. They need every word to count. If they think you're wasting their time, they'll click away. You will have lost your chance to sell to that customer--not only today, but next time he wants your type of product.

Here's how to write in the age of the rushing reader.

1. Make it modular. Organize the copy into categories. Use bullets and subheads. Standardize the way you present information. For a great example of information organization and modular chunks, go to ebags.com.

2. Use fewer words. Don't wax eloquent. Don't beat around the bush. Just spit it out.

3. Make it active. Avoid passive voice. Yes, that means you can't say, "This product enables you to…" Start almost every sentence with a verb: "Enjoy the summer breezes…" "Print a 30-page document in less than 30 seconds…" "Convert files with two clicks…"

4. Be conversational. Use plain, every day language. Talk to your customers the way you'd talk to someone you are comfortable with, someone you respect, and someone who trusts you because you're telling the truth. You are telling the truth, right?

5. Know who you're talking to. When you write an email to a friend, you can type four words, and they'll know what you mean. You should be so familiar with your reader that you know exactly what they know and what they want you to tell them.

6. Don't tell them what they already know. This is the most common mistake copywriters make. They describe the reader's problem in detail. Readers already know what their problem is. What they want is a concise and compelling description of the solution.

7. Write for one type of person. If you sell a product to different audiences, divide your website into areas aimed at those audiences. That way you won't bore one type of buyer with copy aimed at another type of buyer. And you won't bore all of them by writing copy that is complex and caveated because it's attempting to address too many types of readers.

8. Tell, don't sell. The person who comes to your website already has a need. You don't have to convince them to buy, you need to answer the questions they ask before they buy. Give them the facts.

9. Be a ruthless editor. You're not writing a novel. You're writing selling copy. Skip all the flowery prose and stick to the basics. Most companies do a very poor job of providing basic product information.

10. Don't let a committee write your copy. Too many "stakeholders" can turn a simple message into a mess. Interview readers so you can convince the tinkerers to accept copy that works for the reader.

Here's some "luxuriating reader" copy, which breaks all the rules:

For a truly professional look, carry your business essentials in a high quality leather briefcase from one of Cases2Go's luggage manufacturers. Not only will you be better prepared by keeping your documents organized and safe, but you will also look like the consummate professional, ready to take on the world. A leather briefcase allows you to carry everything you may need over the course of a long work day. The right briefcase will be functional as well as stylish, and at Cases2Go a large number of stylish, dependable leather briefcases are available for you to choose from.

Nowadays, if you are a businessperson on the move, there are a variety of things that you must carry with you. A laptop computer and all its accessories (batteries, adapters, etc.), files and papers, a cell phone, and a PDA are just a few of the items that you may need during the day.

How insulting! How boring! How vapid! Here's a rewrite:

Carry your laptop, cell phone, PDA, accessories, and papers in this stylish leather briefcase--and have pockets left over for whatever else you need.

This sentence answers the two questions that were answered in the long version (What can I carry? What's this briefcase made of?), without all the obsequious drivel.

You want the rushing reader to buy from you? Assume your reader wants something. Make it easy for them to find you and see that you have it. Plenty of them will buy.