Revenue Journal®

Got a phone call today from a telemarketer for the "National Directory." Lots of voices in the background, obviously a boiler room. OK, no problem with that. But the guy calling me is talking too fast. Red Flag #1. Fast-talking callers make buyers uncomfortable.

He's talking so fast, I can barely understand which business he represents, and thus am not sure what this call is for, or where it's headed. Red Flag #2. He says something about this being the directory used by AOL's Yellow Pages.

He wants to confirm my contact information. OK, I can do that, I get these calls all the time. But I'm still suspicious. This "just confirming" shtick is usually the preamble to a sales pitch. Red Flag #3.

He confirms my contact information, then says, "Thank you. Now, you will be listed in the National Directory, free for 15 days." Red Flag #4. Big One.

"What happens after the 15 days?" I ask him.

"It's free for 15 days," he says, avoiding my question.

"That's not what I asked. What I asked was, 'What happens after the 15 days?'"

"Well, Ma'am, if you approve your listing, you'll pay $39 a month."

"Is this one of those things where if I don't say anything after 15 days, you'll bill me automatically?"

"Oh, no, Ma'am, we'll call you before we bill you. Let me have you talk to my supervisor, to confirm that I got your information right."

Before I have a chance to respond, I'm on hold. Normally I would have hung up by now; the whole idea that you have to "talk to a supervisor" - who is really just another salesperson - always makes my blood boil. How stupid do they think customers are? But professional curiosity makes me stay on the line.

The "supervisor" picks up. He talks just as fast as his "employee."

He spews out the same pitch. I still have the same question: "If I were to 'confirm my listing,' this would mean that I'd have a free listing for 15 days, after which time you'd start billing me $39 a month, right? Would you do that automatically, unless I told you to stop?"

"Oh, no, Ma'am, that will not happen,' he assures me. "We will call you first."

By this time, I decide that these jokers have used up enough of my time. I tell him to take me off his list.

He doesn't say, "Yes, Ma'am," as he is supposed to. Instead, he starts trying to sell me again. I say "take me off," again. He starts selling again.

Finally, I tell him: "When I ask you to take me off your list, you are obligated by law to take me off your list."

That works. He agrees. We hang up.

Of course, we both know that they would never have called to ask me if I wanted to continue. They would have just billed me. They would have let me be stupid.

This is the essence of these scams: make money off people by letting them be stupid. Say one thing, do another, and hope that they don't read the fine print. Hope that they don't notice the charge on their credit card bill for at least three months. Hope enough people allow themselves to be scammed that you can make enough money to stay in business.

If you've hired a telemarketing firm, you'll want to make sure they're not using these tactics. Make sure that their calling list is seeded with people who will report back to you. Have your plants record the calls.

If you're thinking of hiring a telemarketing firm that has convinced you these techniques "work," and "everybody does it," think again. Every single person who gets one of these calls will think, "This is a terrible tactic. I will do whatever I can do stay away from these people." In other words, you'll be paying someone good money to make enemies out of your potential customers. Not good.

Someone said recently that you are judged more by what you don't do than by what you do...and I agree. As I spell out in detail in my book, people will be happy to give you their money if you know what they want, know how they want to be sold to, and provide what they need, honestly and openly. There's no reason to lie and cheat. It will only hurt you in the long run.