Revenue Journal®

"You want a service that fits you perfectly," the headline says. "We tailor to your size."

What service?

The rest of this ad, which appeared in The Wall Street Journal Online Edition, doesn't help answer this question. There's a picture of a tape measure - one of the most worn-out clich�s in the history of advertising, online or off.

There's a link to "More information"; again, totally useless. There's the great, informative tagline that probably cost the company $30,000 to create: "Making more possible." Gee, who else could that tagline apply to? Only about 3 million other companies.

Then there's the company's name: ABN-AMRO. Oh, boy. Acronym soup. Not good. This alone will scare off any customer who actually wants to work with a company that cares. Companies that care are driven by a passionate individual with a dream. Conglomerates are the furthest one can get from "a passionate individual with a dream."

I had to click on this ad to see if the corresponding landing page was any better, just because the ad was so bad.

Nope.

I look over this page, and I still have the same, burning question: What does this company sell?

The headline, which only repeats what the ad said, doesn't provide a clue. The body copy, written by someone who has obviously never talked to a customer, speaks in that terrible corporate voice: "We are on the side of companies who want to challenge their environments - global pioneers operating across geographies, rising champions in emerging markets, and ambitious large and mid-size companies in developed markets. Through our focus on relationships, our customized solution from a full-spectrum product offering, and our global reach, we give you the service you want, wherever you do business. We call this making more possible."

Imagine someone saying these things to your face. You'd ask them to leave your office, and you'd make a promise to yourself never to interact with them again.

Obviously, this is copy written by a committee. There are sentences in here that aren't even English, but even that's not the worst part. This copy tells me NOTHING. Zero. Zip. Nada.

The links under the copy are no more informative: "Corporates"[sic], "Financials Institutions [sic] and Public Sector," "Fixed Income," etc. Nothing says what they actually do, and, I'm sorry to say, clicking on these links still doesn't provide an answer.

When I click on "Corporates," [sic] I see more meaningless copy: "Our client-facing teams lead the way in developing relationships with our clients: establishing a thorough understanding of their business objectives and challenges."

What else are client-facing teams supposed to do? Refuse to establish a thorough understanding of their clients' business objectives and challenges?

Copy that states the obvious doesn't help your reader and it certainly won't help you sell.

Please note that I am now three levels into the ABN-AMRO experience and I still
don't know what they can do for me. Think a normal customer would have gotten this far? Not a chance.

All of us who are successfully advertising online and sending people to landing pages know that Specificity Rules. The more specific you are, the better. Customers have specific problems, and they want specific solutions. You have to spell it out.

This vague, boring, sounds-like-it-says-everything-but-really-says-nothing corporate speak is not what should be on your landing pages, no matter what your top executives think. ABN-AMRO may as well have posted, "Yada, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah, we're great and we know it, call us and we'll show it, yada, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah."

Marketing copy, no matter where it appears, has to actually say something. It has to say, "This is what we sell. Here's how it can help you." If it doesn't say this, your customer will bounce off your landing page in a nanosecond, bound for a competitor's more satisfying site.

This ad is a perfect example of a missed opportunity. ABN-AMRO no doubt spent a lot for that front-page, prime real estate on the online version of The Wall Street Journal.

What a waste.